When I Hurt My Son...
Parenting is such a mixed bag of big emotions. And that is because you are dealing with kids. Tiny humans with Gigantic Emotions. While almost all parents love their kids immensely, we still say or do something which might end up hurting them. When you inadvertently hurt your child, it's worse than being hurt by someone else. That's because kids trust you to take care of their feelings more than anyone else.
In one of my silly moments yesterday, I said something corrective to my son. While he is generally absolutely fine with all my feedback, he was taken aback! And that's because I foolishly said it in front of someone he doesn't consider a part of his close circle. He didn't let it show but I sensed the tears he didn't let drop.
And I felt horrible.
I apologized immediately but then had to put in a lot of effort later too. Well, in my case the efforts consisted of some sincere apologetic words and loads of tickling till he gave up. :-D
If the connection between you and your kids is healthy, kids are generous and will quickly forgive you. If you haven't been paying attention to the quality of this bond you have with your offspring - each inadvertent moment like this will create a new spasm.
Mistakes are unavoidable. Don't count on yourself to not make any through the years. Work on your connection so that it's strong enough. An easy technique? Ensure that Appreciation for expected behavior is at least three times you have to Criticise them.
Of course, you shouldn't start taking a well-formed strong connection for granted - remember with great power comes great responsibility. Be sincere and quick to acknowledge a mistake and apologize - and don't ever pass comments on how your child's just overreacting. You can't and shouldn't try to measure the amount of hurt vs. the appropriate amount for a specific incidence.
It's their feelings after all.
Happy Parenting.
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