Is Sibling Rivalry Unavoidable?

Siblings are so important in our lives. And yet, most of us have, at some point or the other, experienced a certain feeling of rivalry with our siblings too.


In today's age, when kids find forming connections as difficult as remaining connected, sibling rivalry has taken a different shape. Bigger, uglier, and messier.  

While sibling rivalry is considered a normal, healthy response as the older children find their positions to be threatened by the new baby, we as parents need to be aware of the changing dynamics in our kids' mutual relationships.

One day, my son was quite disappointed by her sister's behavior and a few of her responses toward him. When I explained a few things about toddler behavior, and how his sister's behavior is indicative of her learning new things, he started feeling a lot better. He also felt more equipped to deal with similar behavior in the future.

The issue is if we don't have a connection that is strong enough and the older children can't convey their feelings, and if we don't explain to/counsel them, their resentment toward the younger children continues to grow. After a certain point, it takes a shape that makes us worried and astounded at the same time. 

Some people find it funny to make the younger kids (toddlers) jealous by pointing out situations where the older child is sitting in mom's lap maybe. If the younger one goes and pushes the sibling away, they laugh and have fun. This attitude can be damaging to a lot of aspects of their mutual relationship and sense of security.

As parents, we can't control our kids' relationships, but,

There is a lot we can do to inspire a strong bond between the siblings.

There is a lot we can do to nurture a fulfilling relationship among the siblings.

There is a lot we can do to ensure that they can be confident their siblings have their backs.

There is a lot we can do to keep the end goal in our head - which is the status of their relationship when they grow up. 

So, let's buckle up and do our bit. 

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Anusha Jain


Perceptive Parenting Enthusiast

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