New Year... and a Loss

This year brought a loss. My eldest Maternal Aunt passed away on January 14th. 

She was a vibrant person. Full of joy and good intentions. A relative at her service correctly said, when you think of her, and the stuff she said, you can't help but laugh. And when you realize the source of that laughter is gone, you can't help but cry.

Handling grief is difficult, and everyone has their own way of doing so. I do it all. I cry loudly, I cry silently, I just become quiet and I move into my own shell. 

When I was younger, I felt, that the way we deal with grief is full of flaws. When people arrive to console, it’s all so futile. There is just no compensating for the loss, is there? But with time, I realized that people don’t come to console you. They come to remind you. Yeah. You tend to forget for long moments that you have suffered such a huge loss. You start smiling, engaging elsewhere - in different conversations, in other activities, or in daily chores. 

But isn’t that recommended? To engage yourself elsewhere? It is, for a few moments that is. But it’s important to remember. 

So that your grief is channelized. 

So that your grief is not getting stacked up, piled up inside you.

So that your grief is not becoming a threat to your mental well-being. 

So that your grief is flowing energy - starting from your heart - passing through your eyes - rolling over your cheeks, or sitting quietly for some time on your lips in the absence of a smile - and then… blending away in the five elements which have claimed your loved one. Five elements to which we all belong. 

Grieve, and let go. 

Grieve, and let it flow.

Grieve, and let yourself face the sorrow.

Grieve, and let yourself return. 

Go back again. Come back again. 

Repeat, until you are done. 

Come back. To life. To love. To liveliness. To happiness.